Whether you’re part of the sweaty hands club or the nervously fidgeting fraternity, it's okay if you feel like you're not safe from the fear of getting into conversations with strangers.



Or maybe you’re just always calm and composed? Whatever describes you best, a lot of conversations or minor social interactions can turn even the calmest individuals into bundles of nerves. And you know what? That's normal and can be improved with a bit of work and open mindedness.



There’s something about the spotlight, the silent anticipation of an audience, and the pressure to perform that can really make your knees wobble. Yes, it's possible that even Erving Goffman, father of the psychology and sociology of social interactions had his moments of social insecurities!



But fear not!



Becoming a more confident speaker and conversationalist is within your reach, and we’re here to guide you through it with some personal insights and tried-and-true strategies.



How To Improve Your Confidence In Conversations

1. Understanding Your Fear

Your heart is pounding. You’re getting hot. A sweat drop runs down to your lips, and the saltiness of it all now covers your tongue.



It’s completely normal to feel nervous before stepping up to speak or argue a point in a debate. Most of our fears stem from not wanting to make a mistake or be judged negatively by others.



First acknowledge these fears — yes, they’re legitimate, but they’re also not insurmountable. Once acknowledged, get out of your head and perform. Let the flow of your speech go through your body and your veins.



Some great ways to feel okay about your fears and understand that they don't own you is to discuss them with someone. It can be a trained professional, a friend or a family member. Speaking it out loud and getting support from someone is an amazing way to feel like you're not alone in this and that you can take actionable steps to further improve your speaking skills.



A tip a VersyTalks debater had used while joining the platform was to write down their fears and scratch a letter with a marker every time they made actionable progress, like speaking to a stranger, raising their hand in class or engaging in a debate. They did that until the whole word was scratched out and done with!



Realizing that it's okay when it doesn't go your way



One of the biggest confidence boosters in conversation is simply accepting that not every interaction has to be perfect. Awkward moments, pauses, or even forgetting what you meant to say don’t define you — they’re just part of being human. In fact, psychologist Dr. Albert Ellis emphasized that accepting discomfort and imperfection is key to building confidence and resilience in social situations. Even great leaders experience this.



Take Barack Obama, for example — known for his eloquence, he’s openly acknowledged moments where he stumbled or paused mid-sentence during speeches. But instead of panicking, he paused, smiled, and continued. The conversation didn’t fall apart, and neither did his credibility.



The truth is: if a conversation goes awkwardly, you’re still alive — and better yet, you’ve gained experience.



Practice, and Then Practice Some More

When honing communication skills in general, practice isn’t just about repeating your speech or arguments to yourself; it’s about simulating the environment you’ll be in. Practice in front of friends or family, record yourself to critique your delivery later, or speak in front of a mirror.



If you're a debater looking to get some enriching practice in, see our article on how to optimize your debate training! (Oh and this is actually good for everyone ! )



Focus on your body language — stand tall, make eye contact, and use gestures to emphasize your points. This kind of preparation can make a huge difference. We’ll cover body language in depth in future blogs, so make sure to stay tuned.



If you’re facing bigger crowds, take a deep breath and make sure to project your voice. Breathe from your diaphragm, and talk from your stomach instead of your throat.



Relax your throat, face and jaw. Tension in these areas will not only make you look stressed out, it will also negatively affect your voice tone and potentially cause vocal fatigue.



Embrace the Power of Storytelling



Nothing beats telling a good story.



When it comes to storytelling, it’s easy to feel pressure to be captivating, polished, and flawless — but the truth is, even the best storytellers mess up sometimes, and that’s okay.



According to Dr. Brené Brown, a researcher known for her work on vulnerability and human connection, people relate more when we’re authentic, not perfect. A great example is Oprah Winfrey, whose ability to connect through stories isn’t about slick delivery — it’s about sincerity.



She’s shared deeply personal moments on air, sometimes stumbling, sometimes emotional — and audiences trust her more because of it. So if your story rambles, you lose your place, or your punchline flops, it’s not the end of the world. You’re still alive — and more real than ever.



We have a great article on storytelling if you're interested in learning more about that particular communication tool.



Read, read, read



One of the most powerful yet underrated ways to boost your conversational confidence is through consistent reading. Reading doesn’t just expand your vocabulary — it strengthens the neural connections in your brain associated with language processing, memory, and empathy.



A study published in Brain Connectivity found that reading narrative stories enhances connectivity in the left temporal cortex, a region crucial for language and comprehension.



The more you read, the more natural it becomes to access the right words, structure your thoughts, and speak fluently. It's kind of like having a complex code of symbols in your brain for all situations, from which you can access almost instantly to then translate into spoken words.



Just look at Malala Yousafzai — her eloquence and depth come in part from her love of reading, which she credits with shaping her understanding of the world. Reading is like weightlifting for your brain — every book is another rep that strengthens your voice.



Here are three great books we recommend to get your general knowledge tingling and start a more complete journey towards confidence in conversations.



1. Sapiens by Yuval Noah Harari

A compelling and easy-to-read overview of human history, evolution, and how we got to where we are. Great for sparking ideas and references in conversation.



2. A Short History of Nearly Everything by Bill Bryson

A witty, accessible crash course on science, space, geology, and life — written like a conversation with your smartest, funniest friend.



3. Thank You for Arguing by Jay Heinrichs

A modern classic on the art of persuasion, rhetoric, and how to speak so people listen — used in classrooms and boardrooms alike.







Let's Be Positive!

Before you step onto the stage, engage in positive self-talk. Remind yourself of your preparation, your knowledge, and your worth. Confidence is as much a mindset as it is a skill.



Just Breathe

Remember body language and posture? Breathing is just as important.



Simple breathing techniques can help manage anxiety. Deep, slow breaths can be incredibly calming and help maintain your speaking pace. Try this before you go on stage and during any moments when you feel overwhelmed.



Just 10 Minutes a Day with VersyTalks



Lastly, you can put your ideas and thoughts where you can receive instant feedback.



VersyTalks is truly confidence workout for your mind. By engaging in short, focused debates or sharing your opinion on topics that matter, you train your brain to think quickly, express clearly, and listen actively. Even just 10 minutes a day helps reduce hesitation, strengthen your voice, and build the habit of speaking with intention.



Confidence is built one thought at a time.